


How to be a Heart-Maker

by PokemonLuverWulf



Category: South Park
Genre: Also everyone is 14 in this, I wrote this kinda hypnotized by a song, Multi, Other than Eric/Heidi is almost endgame?, Recreational Drug Use, TBH I have no idea where the plot is taking me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 20:26:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15956891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PokemonLuverWulf/pseuds/PokemonLuverWulf
Summary: Music is magical, influential. It can empower us and give us the motivation do to things.And sometimes those things can feel just a little bit wrong.Title is a reference to 'How to be a Heartbreaker' by Marina and the Diamonds.





	How to be a Heart-Maker

Kenny and Craig had been passing a blunt back and forth behind the school when they had heard it. Two angelic voices drifting from a nearby vent, accompanied by drums, a guitar, and some sort of other instrument.

This was middle school. Hall monitors were dead and gone by this point, so they had no worries about being caught as they entered the back, trying to figure out where the sounds were coming from.

It didn’t take too long to hear something drifting from the hallway where the band room was, a something that got louder as they pushed forward.

Opening the door to the room cut the noise off as five faces looked at them. Butters was seated behind an electric keyboard, Heidi was clutching a guitar plugged into an amplifier, Raven was twirling sticks behind a drum kit, and both Annie and Tweek were holding microphones.

Raven took one sniff and grinned.

“Y’all should’a told me one of you got ahold of some weed.”

“Yeah yeah fuck off.” Kenny snarked. “What’re you guys doing?”

“Trying out a song. Ish.” Butters piped up.

“Ish?”

“Ish.”

Kenny shrugged, not arguing with his boyfriend.

“You can continue.” Craig said, taking a seat on one of the abandoned chairs scattered around because god forbid anyone actually cleaned up in here.

Tweek nodded multiple times before motioning to the others. Raven clacked her sticks together to signal starting. Heidi was the first to play, strumming out a few chords before Tweek and Annie sang.

‘ _Rule number one, is that you’ve gotta have fun.’_

And just like that, the room seemed to explode as Butters and Raven joined in. The quintet seemed to have almost forgotten their spectators as they grew further and further in, Heidi bouncing around as she played, Butters and Raven closing their eyes and leaning into the beat, the singers dancing around the room as far as their cords would let them. Craig and Kenny swore colors seemed brighter as they watched their friends and partners enjoy doing something they loved the most. The instrument players seemed to join in with vocals, their own voices seemingly drowned out but also heard in the harmonic cacophony that filled the concrete room.

The song ended almost too quickly with one final thrum.

“Well, whaddya think?” Butters asked, almost panting.

Kenny surged forward, knocking the chair backwards as he strode across the room to grab the angelic boy’s face.

“If we weren’t in public I’d do you right now.”

Raven’s cackling laughter filled the air as everyone else groaned.

^.v.^

The whole thing was almost seemingly forgotten until all of the boys received messages to not miss the talent show, a message signed by Raven, Heidi, Annie, Tweek, and Butters.

There had been plans to blow it off, but when a large portion of their crew seemingly had a part to play, why not?

They had decided to just hang around the nearby water fountain until they got an answer as to why when Craig and Kenny nearly, in order, spewed liquid everywhere and choked when the next group was announced and they saw who it was.

They had worn masks, almost in some half-assed attempt to cover up who they were, but in a town this small people could tell who another person was by hair alone. Besides, Raven’s bright red strand of hair stood out, and the masks were crappy, not worth more than a dollar and probably homemade. Their clothes were a combination of loose and tight, falling off some shoulders or exposing the entirety of the collarbone and/or midriff while clinging to their lower halves.

And it was the same damn song, ‘How to Be a Heartbreaker’, but brighter, better. Chaotic and full of energy, and it somehow turned the groaning mass of students into a damn mosh pit. Especially since it seemed like a certain someone had bribed Kevin to fuck with the lights, which glowed in neon colors and ran around the auditorium, only adding more to the nightclub feeling.

The boys swore their corner was the second loudest thing in the room, screaming, hooting, and hollering as they watched their friends and partners rock out on-stage. At one point the crowd was almost deafening when, during a lull, everyone on stage whipped off their masks and threw them into the sea of people.

Any and all decorum was completely and utterly fucked. The teachers couldn’t restore order, especially when the song ended and the entire student body present chanted “Encore” like a fanatical cult. A chant that the psuedo-band fulfilled as they charged into a rousing rendition of ‘Courtesy Call’ that almost broke the speakers and had the teachers shuffling out of the building, along with one or two pissed performers. At the end, Kenny had vaulted onstage to snog the blond boy behind the keyboard with a fiery passion, whispering dirty things against his lips, practically pulling Butters off stage and into an open classroom with his mouth alone.

Feeding off of the energy, Raven, ever the pragmatist and open to causing some disorder, promptly declared it an open mic night and the four remaining people vacated the stage to avoid the rush of people clamoring for the microphones, Bebe winning and launching into a slightly off key rendition of Lady Gaga.

Tweek screeched as a figure clad in a blue chullo hat roughly dragged him by the wrist into the hallway, slamming him against a locker.

“Craig, what, wh-the fuck?”

“Shut up.” Craig growled, his voice husky as he pressed his lips to Tweek’s, threading his fingers through the stringy blond hair. Tweek purred, linking his fingers through Craig’s belt loops and swiping his tongue against Craig’s lips causing the larger boy to groan and relent.

Outside, Kyle had pushed Raven against the wall, holding her up while her legs wrapped around his waist, air steaming around them as they licked and bit, each vying for dominance over the others’ mouth.

“Somebody got worked up, huh?” Raven teased, voice suddenly falling to a moan as Kyle released her lips to plant his on her neck, tongue lapping over the tattoo above her pulse.

Butters was having a similar response to Kenny, who was biting and sucking at his pulse point, Butters nearly ripping the orange parka as Kenny hit spots deep inside of him, splayed out on two desks.

“That-fucking-shirt.” Kenny panted. It had been loose enough to hang off of one shoulder exposing just a little bit of creamy collarbone and those tiny freckles as Butters bounced to the song on stage. That tiny bit of skin had sent Kenny into a frenzy for the remainder of the performances. Right now, it was discarded on the floor

Butters just groaned, fumbling with the zipper before forcing the parka off of Kenny, scrabbling at the torn undershirt beneath. He threw his head backwards and let out a keening cry as his pleasure spilled over and everywhere, Kenny not far behind, a release that left both of them panting.

Cartman was panting as well, and also from physical exertion, but he was trying to catch up to Heidi and Annie instead of bending someone over a table.

“Wai-wait! Wait dammit!” He screeched, causing the two figures ahead to stop and turn. He bent over when he made it to them, nearly puking on the sidewalk.

“What is it Cartman?” Heidi asked.

“I….just….wanted….to….say,” the fat boy panted, finally sucking in enough breath, “You were fucking awesome Heidi.”

Annie rolled her eyes as Heidi blushed. “Thanks.”

There was an awkward silence before Cartman blurted out, “Y’wanna, uh, get some coffee?”

Annie gasped and Heidi blanched. “It’s late and Tweek took the day off to play tonight. The shop’s gonna be closed. And I thought you didn’t like coffee anyway.”

“Oh. Yeah. Um, shit.” Cartman fumbled, trying to think of another small spot that would be open this late at night.

“But,” Heidi’s voice broke his thoughts, her face a bright pink, “I wouldn’t mind going to your house for some hot chocolate. You mom made the best stuff, if I remember.”

“Yeah. She does. Make the best, I mean.” Cartman agreed before holding out his hand.

Annie was spasming in the back when, carefully, Heidi took his hand and he gently led her away.

^.v.^

Raven groaned as her phone buzzed, slapping her hand around her night-table as Kyle moaned into her naked chest. Her lower half still tingled and ached from last night, where Kyle had attempted to eat her out behind the school when she suggested they head to her house instead of fucking like animals on the hard and unforgiving concrete, a suggestion he had happily taken.

“Fucking what.” She growled.

“Well good fucking morning to you too.” Heidi retorted. “You might hate me a little after this.”

“Heidi, you’re waking me up at six in the fucking morning on a weekend after I had some fantastic sex with my boyfriend following an ass-blasting performance that we’re so totally going to get canned for at school on Monday.” Raven deadpanned. “I could not hate you any more right now.”

“Yeah, well, I kinda went on a date with Eric after the performance last night.”

Raven was still and quiet, apparently for too long, because Heidi had to call her back to attention.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m sorry, I think my brain just shut down. You did what?”

“We went back to his house and just sat on the couch and drank hot chocolate and talked. Get this though, he was totally different from the Eric we see at school. Like, he was nice, and wanted to know about how long I had been playing the guitar for. Then we just chatted about school and friends and….well, he walked me home after that. Nothing perverted or taking advantage of me, just nice.”

Raven moaned. “No, Heidi, you’re using his first name again, you haven’t done that since you broke up with him in fourth grade. Please don’t tell me you’re getting sucked back in.”

“I don’t know. Maybe. Monday will tell.” There was a small chime. “Whoops, Annie’s calling. You mind?”

“Fucking go for it, I’m stuck here now.” The noirette sighed, casting her eyes to her boyfriend, who was thankfully still asleep.

“Heidi I swear to god if that pig did ANYTHING to you-” Annie launched as soon as she was on.

“No, he didn’t do a thing!” Heidi said.

“Annie, she’s calling him Eric again.” Raven weighed in, eliciting a shriek that Kyle heard. His bleary eyes met Raven’s and he mouthed a small ‘the fuck?’

“Thanks for waking up my boyfriend Annie, and probably half the fucking town. Also, I’m leaving. Bye.” She hung up, dropping her phone to the ground with a groan before turning to snuggle into Kyle.

“Heidi’s being dumb.” She mumbled into his bare chest before passing back out.

^.v.^

 **RavenDothFuck** : so how many of yall ate dick last night?

 **CoffeeToffeeBean** : why do you assume we ate dick

 **RavenDothFuck** : cause we all dating men

 **RavenDothFuck** : unless someone suddenly swapped preferences overnight or genitals

 **RavenDothFuck** : Kenny sent me a pic so i know butters did something last night

 **ButtonButters** : Oh hamburgers

 **TheManliestofHoes** : whoops ;)

 **RavenDothFuck** : surprised you made it to the house

 **TheManliestofHoes** : that wasn’t round one ;))))

 **CoffeeToffeeBean** : id on’t think heidi or anie did anyhting last ngiht

 **CoffeeToffeeBean** : also if u 2 did it on my damn desk

 **AnnieofGreenGay-bles** : No I didn’t get anything from my boo he was sick n couldn’t make it

 **AnnieofGreenGay-bles** : Also whotf changed my username

 **RavenDothFuck** : guilty

 **AnnieofGreenGay-bles** : Why

 **RavenDothFuck** : dun worry heidi got the same treatment

 **RavenDothFuck** : also you frolick with us

 **RavenDothFuck** : the queer folk

 **ButtonButters** : but youre dating Kyle

 **RavenDothFuck** : dont mean i wouldnt bang anyone if i wasnt in a happy relationship

 **RavenDothFuck** : what someone got going on downstairs means nothing

 **HeidioftheLambs** : True gender is a dead construct.

 **HeidioftheLambs** : Also I see what you did.

 **RavenDothFuck** : do not be swayed by hannibal

 **RavenDothFuck** : cause hes happily fucking will graham in a deer carcass

 **HeidioftheLambs** : If Eric is Hannibal then who is Will?

 **CoffeeToffeeBean** : fuck

 **TheManliestofHoes** : fuck

 **AnnieofGreenGay-bles** : Fuck

 **ButtonButters** : oh no

 **RavenDothFuck** : idk, clyde frog probs

 **CoffeeToffeeBean** : heidi you did not

 **HeidioftheLambs** : I didn’t.

 **HeidioftheLambs** : We sat at his place and talked and had hot chocolate.

 **HeidioftheLambs** : And then he walked me home.

 **TheManliestofHoes** : bullshit

 **HeidioftheLambs** : Swear to God’s Graces.

 **TheManliestofHoes** : im fuckin callin him now

 **RavenDothFuck** : i mean i have jesus in my contacts if you need gods number

 **ButtonButters** : haha, that was a good one!

^.v.^

“Kenny, why do you think I would take advantage of Heidi?” Cartman groaned.

“Because it’s fucking you! Why would I believe for a second that you just wanted to talk to Heidi without any ulterior motive?” Kenny yelled.

“Because maybe I ain’t as promiscuous as you.”

“Horseshit. You have some plan up your sleeve.”

“No, I don’t. I just wanted to talk.”

“Cartman, you never want to ‘just talk’. Ever. What the hell changed that last night?”

Cartman scowled. “The same reason you pulled Butters off-stage with your teeth? It was just….a new side to Heidi.”

“And you got aroused by it.”

“No Kenny. I wanted to talk to her again, see how she changed since last time.”

“And?”

“She seems….happier. Still funny and smart and awesome, but really happy.”

“And that’s it.”

“Seriously Kenny, that’s it! Jesus Christ is your brain rotting like the rest of your house?”

“No but I’ve been talking to her and she’s using your first name!”

“So?”

“So?! No one calls you by your first name other than your mom, everyone’s parents, Butters, and Heidi when she was dating you!”

“And that means…..?”

There was a fairly strangled sound before some hushed arguing and Butters’ voice. “Sorry Eric, Ken was gettin’ worked up something fierce.”

“Thank you, Butters.”

“But, what I think Ken was trying to say, is that, well, we think Heidi may be interested in you again. On account of her calling you ‘Eric’ again.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. So, we just don’t want you breakin’ her again, you know? I mean, if you want to try again, but, I don’t really know and neither does Kenny, y’know.”

“I….might have to think about that then. Thanks for clarifying, Butters.”

“No problem!”

There was a click as the call ended. Cartman’s hand fell to the mattress as he stared at the ceiling.

**Author's Note:**

> TBH I wrote this in a weird creative surge and decided to go with it. This is what happens when fall hits New England, man.  
> Follow me on Tumblr @pokemonluverwulf


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